Under Construction

When I started But First, a Nap, I thought I knew exactly what I was creating.

I pictured a place to share my quirky sense of humor, tell stories from everyday life, and hopefully make someone smile.

And to be fair… I still love making people laugh.

Sometimes I even do it on purpose.

But somewhere along the way, something unexpected happened.

The blog started changing.

Every Sunday I sit down thinking I need to come up with something clever to write about. More often than not, I discover that what I really needed to write about was something I didn’t even know I was carrying.

A sewing machine became a lesson in persistence.

A church garden in London became a reminder that broken things can still be sacred.

An opera became something else entirely.

I’m beginning to realize that I don’t write because I have answers.

I write because I’m curious.

Curious about why certain moments won’t let go of me.

Curious about why some conversations stay with me long after they’ve ended.

Curious about what it means to become a little more fully human.

The funny thing is, I thought this blog was about sharing stories.

Instead, it has become a place where I discover them.

That has been both exciting…

…and terrifying.

Humor is a wonderful place to hide.

Vulnerability isn’t.

When I stop trying to impress people and start writing about what truly matters to me, it feels like handing someone a piece of my heart.

The scary part isn’t sharing my heart.

It’s wondering whether anyone will recognize a piece of their own in it.

Because if just one person closes their laptop and thinks, I thought I was the only one, then sharing my heart was worth it.

For a long time, I think I wrote with the voices of doubt looking over my shoulder. Every sentence had to defend itself. Every story had to prove it deserved to be told.

Lately, I’ve realized something.

I’m not writing for those voices anymore.

I’m writing for the person who quietly wonders if they’re the only one.

If they finish reading and feel just a little less alone…

Then every vulnerable word was worth writing.

The humor is still here.

It’s just making room for something more.

I’m becoming more willing to share my heart.

That has been both freeing…

…and a little terrifying.

The construction isn’t happening on the website.

It’s happening in me.

And if you’re willing to stick around while I keep figuring it out…

I’d love the company.

Thanks for sitting with me for a minute.

If you know someone who might enjoy sitting with us too, I’d love for you to share this post.

Practice Doesn’t Care If You Feel Like It

I say this to my clients all the time:

“Any change takes practice.”

We usually laugh about it, because now some of them beat me to it. Before I can even say the word “practice,” they’re already smiling like, I know, I know… practice.

It’s a good reminder.

Turns out, I don’t just teach this… I have to live it

This week, I didn’t feel inspired to write.

Not even a little.

No big ideas. No meaningful insights. Nothing felt worth putting into words. And if I’m being honest, it didn’t take much for my brain to start offering me reasons to skip it altogether.

And honestly? That’s kind of my pattern.

If it’s hard, or inconvenient, or not coming easily, there’s a part of me that starts looking for the exit.

“Maybe skip this week.”
“No one will notice.”
“You can do better next week.”

All very reasonable. All very convincing.

But here’s the problem.

Practice doesn’t care if I feel like it.

It doesn’t care if I’m tired, or uninspired, or mildly annoyed that I have nothing profound to say. It doesn’t wait for motivation to show up and get me going.

It just quietly asks the same thing every time:

Are you going to show up or not?

I think sometimes we believe that if something matters, we’ll feel driven to do it.

But in my experience, the things that matter the most are usually the ones that require the most practice… and the least amount of feeling like it.

Consistency isn’t glamorous.

It’s sitting down when you don’t want to.
It’s writing something that isn’t your best.
It’s doing it anyway.

So here I am.

Not inspired. Not particularly eloquent. Definitely not perfect.

But I showed up.

And right now, that feels like enough.

Perfect? No.
Acceptable? Yeah.
Still here? Also, yes.