I had a thought this week… follow me for a minute.
I was talking with a client about forgiveness. They were working through some pretty deep betrayal, and we were discussing how, if we choose to move forward and forgive, we eventually have to find ways to let go of anger and resentment.
Not all at once. Not perfectly. But over time.
We talked about how it takes practice. Repetition. Even a little bit of that “rewiring your brain” stuff.
And then I kept thinking about it after the session.
Because here’s the question that stuck with me:
Why are we so willing to practice forgiving others…
But so resistant to forgiving ourselves?
We talk about how holding on to resentment in relationships creates distance, tension, and disconnection.
But we don’t always talk about what happens when that resentment is turned inward.
When we hold grudges against ourselves.
When we replay mistakes.
When we refuse to give ourselves grace.
When we “beat ourselves up” and call it accountability.
That creates conflict, too.
Just… inside.
And I don’t think self-forgiveness is all that different from forgiving someone else.
It takes time.
It takes intention.
It takes practice.
It probably feels uncomfortable and unnatural at first.
And maybe—just like with others—we don’t have to jump straight to full forgiveness.
Maybe we start with:
“I don’t have to punish myself forever for this.”
I’m a therapist by profession, so I get to have these kinds of conversations often. And honestly, they don’t just help my clients—they help me. They give me a chance to slow down and really think about how I’m showing up in my own life, too.
This isn’t meant to be a therapy blog or a list of steps to fix anything. It’s just me, sharing what I’m learning and noticing along the way, in real time.
Because if I believe in showing up for myself (which I talk about a lot here), that probably includes learning to let go of my own resentment, too.
Still working on that one.
But I think it’s worth practicing.
And maybe that counts as a win.
But first a nap 