Whimsical Realist

Finding humor while keeping both feet on the ground

A story about the title.

I have worked in drug and alcohol rehabs over the past several years. One day a client said, “Kaydawn, you are the most whimsical realist I have ever met.”

Naturally, I asked for a definition.

She said, “You are aware of the harsh realities of life. You choose to find the good anyway.”

To this day, that is one of my favorite compliments.

It’s who I want to be.
Who I strive to be.
Who I hope I am meant to be.

Like most of us, I don’t always get there.

Some days realism wins. Bills, disappointment, loneliness, fear, exhaustion, self-doubt… all of it can get loud. There are days when life feels less whimsical and more like repeatedly checking your bank account while pretending not to panic.

But I’ve also learned that whimsy is not denial.

It is not pretending hard things aren’t hard.
It is not toxic positivity.
It is not walking around blindly chanting “everything happens for a reason” while surviving primarily on Dr Pepper Zero Sugar and avoidance.

To me, whimsy is softer than that.

It is choosing to notice small good things while fully aware that pain exists.
It is laughing when you can.
Buying the fancy pen.
Watching the sunset.
Sending the text.
Starting over again on a random Tuesday.
Believing people can heal.
Believing you can heal.

Maybe being a whimsical realist means understanding life can be brutal and beautiful at the exact same time.

And maybe maturity is learning that these two things can coexist.

I don’t know if I fully live up to the title yet.

But I still think about that comment. And on the hard days, especially, I think:

“Yes. That is the person I want to become.”

What about you?
Do you consider yourself more of a realist, an optimist, or somewhere in between?